Connell Barrett [00:00:00 – 00:00:38]
Thou shalt double text. Yes, and even triple text. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am your host, dating coach Connell Barrett. I’m here to help you flirt with authenticity and get more dates and get a great girlfriend. And this is all about being your true, real best self. You don’t need tactical weird pickup moves. You need to channel your most confident, authentic you because that’s who women want.
Connell Barrett [00:00:39 – 00:01:36]
And I was just looking at my Instagram today. I think I get 3 out of 4 questions on Instagram are about texting. What do I say? do I text? How do I text? Why do women ghost me? How can I get women messaging me back? And my clients too. I hear all the time from my guys. I’ve got about a dozen clients right now I’m actively working with, and at least 3/4 of them ask me texting questions every week. So today’s episode is about me helping you become much, much more confident flirtatious, and effective at texting. How are we going to do that? Well, maybe it’s the Catholic boy inside of me who I used to be, but today I’m going to give you what I call the 10 Commandments of texting. Imagine Moses has come down.
Connell Barrett [00:01:36 – 00:02:00]
I am Moses. I am the texting Moses, and I’m coming down from Mount Sinai to share with you my 10 texting commandments. So here we go. Let’s get right to it. I’ll begin with the first texting commandment. I wish I could do a Charlton Heston impression. Let my people go. Here we go.
Connell Barrett [00:02:00 – 00:02:28]
The first texting commandment is this: thou shalt double text. Yes, and even triple text. That’s right. I give you permission to double and even triple text. I can’t tell you how many times I see guys on social media through no fault of their own. Good guys are just trying to do their best. But there’s so much bad dating advice that says never double text. Don’t double text.
Connell Barrett [00:02:28 – 00:03:07]
It’s needy. It makes you a simp. It makes you try hard. No, sending a second or even a third text message does not make you needy. What makes you needy Is neediness, is the way you text, not the amount, not the number of times you text. So you absolutely should follow up a second time and even a third time, as long as you’re doing it with playfulness, lightness, charm. Basically, this— what I’m about to share with you blew my mind the first one or two times it happened. Then it happened 5 or 6 times.
Connell Barrett [00:03:07 – 00:03:36]
And it really rocked my world. Back when I was single and trying to figure all of this out, I said, you know what, I’m going to follow up a second or a third time. I’m going to keep messaging. And sometimes the second or third time got the woman to write me back. I remember there was a woman I matched with on Tinder a long time ago. She went quiet. I sent a second message. Dear diary, cute Tinder girl’s gone quiet.
Connell Barrett [00:03:36 – 00:03:57]
Send search party. It’s a little line I got from one of my coaches back in the day. No message. And then I sent— then I sent her a third message. And I just said, you know what, I’m gonna have fun. If I’m gonna go down swinging here, I may as well swing for the fences. And I wrote her a third message. It was something like, hey, Mom.
Connell Barrett [00:03:57 – 00:04:22]
Hey, Dad. This cute girl Katie from Tinder has vanished. Do you think she found out I live in your basement? It was something like that. And then she wrote me back, LOL. What is it? What is rolling on the floor laughing? ROTFL. Sorry, Connell. I’m sorry I missed your messages. I just got so busy.
Connell Barrett [00:04:23 – 00:04:53]
Plus, I have to say, I really like your persistence. Drinks on Friday? And then all of a sudden we had a date lined up. I was breaking the rules, but it was working. That second, that third message is really powerful. So you are absolutely allowed to double text. It’s not how often you text, it’s the way you text. So by the way, so yes, you can double text, you can even triple text. That’s right, triple texting, something I give my clients.
Connell Barrett [00:04:54 – 00:05:26]
I say follow the 3 times rule. Don’t consider yourself ghosted until you have sent 3 good, fun value messages. After 3 or so, fine, move on. I’m not saying send 27 straight messages at all. But so many dates— I got so many dates from the 2nd or 3rd message. And a lot of women even explicitly pointed out, I like your persistence, or I like that you followed up. Most guys give up too soon. Boom, here’s my number.
Connell Barrett [00:05:26 – 00:05:46]
One woman even said to me recently, you have earned my phone number. You made me laugh and I like that you followed up. Here’s my number. So women notice that. So that’s the first texting commandment. Thou shalt double text. Thou shalt even triple text. But it only works if you follow the next commandment.
Connell Barrett [00:05:47 – 00:06:19]
The second texting commandment is thou shalt text playfully. I’m getting into this. My Catholic, my Catholic grade school side is coming out. I’m a Reformed Catholic. Anyway, second texting commandment: thou shalt text playfully. Bottom line is flirting isn’t complicated. It’s about being playful. Flirting, really, the definition of flirting— not my definition, it’s pretty much the definition if you really look at it— flirting is light playfulness with clear interest.
Connell Barrett [00:06:19 – 00:06:41]
That’s all flirting is. You’re making it clear you like her and you’re expressing it in a light, playful way. The Oxford English Dictionary defines flirting in part as, quote, playing at love. I didn’t make that up. That’s Oxford. So let’s play. And that’s really the secret to playful texting. So make your text playful.
Connell Barrett [00:06:43 – 00:07:38]
Rather than plain. Plain texting is, how’s your day? Playful texting is, how’s your day on a scale of root canal to won the Powerball? You know, plain texting would be, how was your weekend? What did you do? Playful texting would be, pop quiz, your weekend highlight was A, yoga, B, cupcakes, C, Eating cupcakes during yoga. Pencils down. See the inherent playfulness in that? Women are going to be so much faster to respond to the second one, the playful one. So that’s the second texting commandment: thou shalt text playfully. Here is the third texting commandment: thou shalt ask flirty questions. Flirty questions. Notice I didn’t say boring informational questions.
Connell Barrett [00:07:40 – 00:08:28]
Let’s define the interview mode, right? Have you heard of interview mode? The dreaded interview mode. Oh, I get stuck in interview mode. I just asked her 4, 5, 6, 7 straight questions and then she went quiet. Well, yeah, but the problem isn’t that you’re asking questions. The problem is that you’re asking Informational, logical, boring questions as opposed to fun, flirty questions. I ask women tons of questions by text, but I’m making them fun, or at least just flirtatious or somehow emotionally interesting to women. So thou shalt ask flirty questions. What might that look like? Well, basically, after a little bit of playful banter, you want to dial things up with a hint of romantic sexual tension.
Connell Barrett [00:08:28 – 00:09:04]
Here are 4 good flirty questions. that you can ask. My clients use all of these questions and more. Number 1, what’s the most romantic place you’ve ever been? Now you’re getting her thinking of romance. The most romantic place I’ve ever been, it was Malibu Beach with my then— she wasn’t my girlfriend, but we were falling for each other. Her name, I’ll call her Alex. I co-dedicated my book to her. Malibu Beach, 2018, sun is setting, we’re falling in love.
Connell Barrett [00:09:04 – 00:09:58]
It was just the most romantic place I’ve ever been. Next flirty question, what was your first kiss like? That’s a great question to ask women after a little bit of rapport, after a little banter. You can ask, hey, what was your first kiss like? Because now you’re, you’re helping to focus her mind and your mind On light, fun, flirty topics that can help us both feel the feels. Most people have a good— most people, not all, but most people have an innocent, positive memory of their first kiss. Either it was really cute and sweet and adorable, or it was so bad it was good. So that’s a good question. Now keep one thing in mind. Unfortunately, some women have a bad memory of their first kiss if There was something— if there was something unfortunate happening there.
Connell Barrett [00:09:58 – 00:11:01]
So keep that in mind, bringing up sexual topics, you want to tread lightly. But I have generally found that asking women about, oh, what was your first kiss like? It usually brings out stories like, oh, I was playing spin the bottle, or 5 minutes in heaven, or it was my first date in high school, I was 16. Okay, another great flirty question is, are you the big spoon or the little spoon? That’s an innocent way to bring the conversation into the bedroom, but not in a vulgar way, in an innocent way. And I like this one, the 4th flirty question. Brag a little bit. What’s the sexiest thing about you? What is the sexiest thing about you? Giving a woman permission To brag about what she finds sexy about her, who knows what she might say? She might talk about her lips. She might talk about another part of her body. She might talk about her intelligence, her humor, her confidence.
Connell Barrett [00:11:02 – 00:11:44]
Great. Now you’re talking about something that’s going to make her probably feel pretty good. And if she’s feeling pretty good about how she feels while texting you, there’s an increased chance she’s— increased chance she’s going to feel good about you. All right. The 4th texting commandment: thou shalt show clear romantic interest. Flirting has 2 core elements that make it flirting: playfulness and clarity. If somebody doesn’t know you’re flirting, then you’re not doing it right, or you’re not doing it clearly. So show that romantic interest.
Connell Barrett [00:11:44 – 00:12:05]
It can be as simple as, I like you. Hey, I like you. Do you want to go on a date with me? I like you. You’re charming. That is flirting. It’s not fancy, but it’s clear and it’s very light and innocent. So yeah, keep that in mind. Playing it cool doesn’t really work.
Connell Barrett [00:12:05 – 00:12:43]
I don’t know if it ever worked. But maybe it worked in the pre-Tinder era when people just didn’t have as many options. But in the Tinder world, in the online dating world, the social media age, when everybody— I shouldn’t say everybody— when so many people and so many women have so many dating options, if you play it cool, if you try to play it mysterious, chances are she’ll just find somebody else because she has so many options. So don’t play it cool, play it clear. Play it clear. It can be as simple as, hey, I like you. Just be careful because autocorrect might change it to I lick you. Save that till the 5th date.
Connell Barrett [00:12:44 – 00:13:27]
Okay, let’s move to the next commandment. The 5th texting commandment is thou shalt not count thy texts. I hear this question so many times, at least once a week from at least one client. How often should I text her? Well, there’s no magic number. In my single days, I texted some women, I don’t know, once every couple days. I texted some women way more than that. When my girlfriend Jess and I first started talking, we texted literally 15, 20 times a day, and that was before our first date. In the 2 or 3 days leading up to our first date, we texted dozens of times.
Connell Barrett [00:13:28 – 00:13:49]
Everybody has a different texting cadence. Here’s the guideline to follow. Don’t worry about counting texts. Think about it this way. Let your chemistry with her guide you. Do you and she both love to text? Then text your brains out. If you’re not that big of a texter and she is, now we’ve got a little bit of a mismatch. Keep that in mind.
Connell Barrett [00:13:49 – 00:14:11]
She might want to text a lot. You might not want to text that much. Or maybe you love to text and she is not that texty. Everybody has their kind of texting style and blueprint. So let the chemistry guide you. Here’s what you do want. Follow this guideline. Go for a 50/50 cadence, roughly 50/50, 40/60.
Connell Barrett [00:14:11 – 00:14:40]
In other words, don’t send 5 texts if she sends you 1. We don’t want a 5-to-1 ratio. 1-to-1, 50/50, 40/60, either way is good. And that way, as long as you have that 50/50 cadence, you might text once a day. You might text 20 times a day. As long as the cadence is roughly equal, you’ll be in a good place. And so, yeah, don’t worry about counting texts. Just think about cadence.
Connell Barrett [00:14:42 – 00:15:25]
Now, I rarely say always or never, but I’m pretty close to always saying text at least a little bit, at least a little bit leading up toward Hopefully a first date. Remember the whole purpose of texting. In my view, the ultimate end goal, of course, is a date. You meet her in person, of course. So keep in mind, keep your eyes on the prize. The prize is the date, not the amount of texts that you or she give or get. And so I’m almost always going to recommend some kind of cadence, even if it’s once every couple days. My client Nick had a first date lined up with a woman from Bumble.
Connell Barrett [00:15:25 – 00:15:47]
Everything was great. Lots of good Bumble bantering back and forth. He lined up a date with her on, say, a Sunday. He got the date agreed to on a Sunday. Then their date was that Friday, so 5 days away. He went totally quiet. He just got busy. Nick’s a busy guy.
Connell Barrett [00:15:48 – 00:16:09]
Doing his job. Doing his job. I think it’s in healthcare. He got busy. All of a sudden Friday comes along. It’s Friday morning and he messages her and says, oh, hey, by the way, we’re still on for tonight. And she wrote back, sorry, but, but no, you went quiet on me. I just kind of lost interest.
Connell Barrett [00:16:09 – 00:16:44]
It’s almost what she wrote him verbatim. So you do want to keep some kind of cadence. Doesn’t have to be 10 times a day. I would say once every couple days between a text. Say you agree to a date or you get her off of a dating app or you’re messaging on each other’s phones, however you got to that point. Let’s say you have a date lined up 4 or 5 days out, at least one every couple days so that you can keep both of you looking forward to the date. But it could be 10 a day, it could be one a day. All that matters is the 50/50 cadence.
Connell Barrett [00:16:44 – 00:17:03]
So stop counting your texts. It’s not that important. Okay, let’s move on to the 6th texting commandment. Thou shalt be thy authentic self. Be yourself. Be authentic. It’s one of my 2 or 3 cornerstone things I teach. Don’t put on a persona to impress her.
Connell Barrett [00:17:04 – 00:17:28]
You are enough right now as the man you are. Let her hear from the real you. Let her text with the real core you. If you’re sweet, if you’re quirky, let that come out. Be the guy your friends know and love. That might sound like an obvious thing to say. Be yourself, be authentic. Well, so many guys put on a bit of a persona.
Connell Barrett [00:17:28 – 00:17:54]
They play it cool. They try to be extra funny. Extra bored, extra challenging. And look, I’m fine with a little bit of fun flirting shtick. I’m the flirting guy. I love flirting. It’s one of the core things I teach. But bottom line is, she’s gonna find value in you, the man who’s gonna meet her on the date.
Connell Barrett [00:17:54 – 00:18:20]
It’s not about your texts. She’s gonna find so much more worth in you. Not in the words you say. It’s almost like the texting, the flirting is icing on a cake, but you’re the cake. You. So be who you are by text. If you are a dorky dad, text her your dorky dad jokes. No judgment from me.
Connell Barrett [00:18:20 – 00:18:48]
I love dad jokes. I’m a cat dad, not a dad dad, but close enough. If you’re a jock, Talk about sports. Or if you’re a ballbuster, if you like to roast people, be a little bit roasty, be a little bit challenging if that’s you. If that’s not you, don’t do that. Women can smell inauthenticity. They can smell a guy putting on airs, putting on a persona. They can smell that out like too much Axe body spray.
Connell Barrett [00:18:49 – 00:19:20]
So we don’t want to be that way. Here’s a pro tip. Here’s a good way for you to know you’re texting as your authentic self. Study— go to your phone, look at the text messages you send a couple of really good friends or people you’re very comfortable with. Could be your friends, could be family. And basically look at how you text. Notice how loose you are, I assume. Notice you’re not trying to gain points.
Connell Barrett [00:19:21 – 00:19:48]
And you’re all probably not asking a bunch of logical, boring questions. You’re probably being yourself. And however you text that person you’re close to, text women pretty much the same way. Just add a little bit of flirtatiousness and just— and don’t call her bro. Don’t call her bro. But okay, let’s move to the 7th texting commandment. Number 7. This one makes me laugh.
Connell Barrett [00:19:48 – 00:20:14]
Number 7, thou shalt not be a needy bitch boy. That’s in quotes, by the way. Needy bitch boy is in quotes. So I have a client named Aaron. Aaron had an amazing date with a woman named Lisa. They went to a music festival here in New York or some kind of a day-long music show. And it was a great date. It was their first date.
Connell Barrett [00:20:14 – 00:20:32]
I coached him through it. He was so excited about Lisa. She is a wow girl to Aaron. And they had a really good date. They danced, they kissed. I coached him on the art of going for that first kiss. And everything went great. Awesome first date.
Connell Barrett [00:20:34 – 00:20:52]
Then a week or two passes. And He was so bummed out. He kept texting me, oh, Connell, I’m so disappointed. No answer back. She didn’t respond to my message. Ugh, I’m so disappointed. I thought she was into me. And I looked at his phone.
Connell Barrett [00:20:52 – 00:21:25]
I looked at the exchanges between Lisa and Aaron, and she was messaging him back, just not as much as he wanted. He was messaging a lot. She was not messaging as much. That goes back to the whole cadence thing I talked about. And he was like, he was bummed out like she had dumped him and she hadn’t. She was just not giving him the texting validation. And I said, dude, you made out with a total babe on date number 1. And I think this was his first ever first date kiss, I think.
Connell Barrett [00:21:26 – 00:21:58]
And if it wasn’t, it was his first ever kiss with a woman of this caliber. I know that because he was so excited. So I said, dude, you made out with a total A total wow girl, a total awesome, wonderful woman. What are you in this for? Are you in this? And oh, and he had a second date lined up. She had already agreed to a second date and he was texting me, oh, she’s not messaging me back. I’m so disappointed. And I’m like, dude, are you in this for the dates or for the texts? What are you in this for? We had a heart-to-heart and he laughed about it. He said, you’re right.
Connell Barrett [00:21:59 – 00:22:32]
No more. No more being a needy bitch boy. He’s, by the way, Aaron’s not a needy bitch boy. But there are times when we become needy, insecure. And bottom line is, he’s a guy who likes a woman to send him a lot of text messages. Lisa wasn’t doing that. But remember, we are in the whole texting game, at least I always was, for the dates, for the relationship, for the meeting in person and letting that chemistry happen, letting that connection happen. So anyway, don’t be a needy bitch boy.
Connell Barrett [00:22:33 – 00:23:18]
In other words, count dates, don’t count texts. We’re not in this to get a certain number of texts. We’re in this to hopefully find a great girlfriend, meet her in person, and see if you guys become a couple or at least have a romantic connection. All right, the 8th texting commandment: thou shalt use GIFs, photos, videos, and voice notes. Yeah, mix up the media. Mix up the media so that you’re not just sending text messages only. This makes your texting feel so much more alive. If she gets a raise, cue up the Leonardo DiCaprio champagne toast GIF from— I think it’s from The Great Gatsby.
Connell Barrett [00:23:20 – 00:23:53]
Or no, maybe it’s from Maybe it’s from Wolf of Wall Street. Well, whatever it’s from, there’s a DiCaprio champagne toast. She gets a raise, she gets a promotion, send her that. Send her the GIF. You have an adorable cat who does backflips? Send her a video. As I record this podcast, I’m looking at my cat Reggie on my chair in front of me. He’s on his back, his belly’s in the air. He’s just goofing around like the dumbest little orange tabby.
Connell Barrett [00:23:54 – 00:24:20]
Boom. If I was dating, I would take a video of this and send it to the girl I was texting. So yeah, have you have a cat? You have a dog? Send a fun dog or cat video. I have this great little 10-second video. I took this years ago. I’m in Chelsea, New York City. These 2 cute little fluffy dogs, like a little fluffy white Shih Tzu and a And a, maybe a brownish Shih Tzu. They’re in a red convertible.
Connell Barrett [00:24:20 – 00:24:59]
Their owner was driving them around this little red convertible and it looked like the dogs were driving. These 2 little dogs roll by me on the sidewalk here in New York City. And I take my phone out and I take a 10-second, 12-second video of these 2 dogs. And in the video, I’m like, whoa, look out, crazy drivers in New York. I’m laughing. The dogs are adorable. I have sent that video to dozens of women and it invariably gets a big fat, oh my God, LOL, that’s so cute, adorable. So yeah, don’t just settle for dry texting.
Connell Barrett [00:24:59 – 00:25:19]
If you’ve got a dad joke, don’t just text it. Maybe send her a voice note. You know, maybe you like dad jokes. I I do. Why do cows have hooves? Because they lactose. Thank you. You’re welcome for that. But maybe send that message to a woman by audio, a voice note.
Connell Barrett [00:25:21 – 00:26:11]
Are you attracted to certain tones of voice? Do you love the sound of the right woman’s voice? You know, the gravelly Demi Moore type voice, Or the smoky Scarlett Johansson type voice. Well, guess what? Women are attracted to your voice. Women are attracted to men’s voices. And so sending her a voice note on occasion, seeing if she responds to that, you never know, that might get her feeling the feels for you. So yes, 8th commandment, don’t just use words and text. Use GIFs, photos, videos, voice notes, Find out what works for you. Find out what women like. All right, the 9th texting commandment: thou shalt not ask her out in the very first text.
Connell Barrett [00:26:13 – 00:26:57]
Don’t ask her out in the very first text that you send. Let’s say you get her number from Bumble. Even if you had a good 10, 15 message back and forth, you send her that first message on Bumble. Don’t make it, so drinks on Saturday? Or you get a number at the bar, you actually get some courage, approach a woman, get her number. That feels amazing. One of my favorite things to coach is helping guys approach, get numbers in real life. But you send that first message, don’t make your first message, so drinks on Saturday? It feels tryhard. You want to build at least a little bit of rapport first, some, some of that playful banter that I talk about.
Connell Barrett [00:26:58 – 00:27:31]
So let’s say, I don’t know, let’s say Amy gave you her number on Bumble. You match, message a little bit, she’s like, sure, shoot me a text. When you message her, don’t start with drinks on Friday. You’re asking before you’ve gotten the rapport, you’ve gotten the sense of connection and comfort that she likes. Go with something light and playful. Maybe this is your first message. Hey, is this Amy, or did I accidentally text Papa John’s again? Pizza emoji. And then sign your name, you know, Ryan from Bumble or whatever.
Connell Barrett [00:27:31 – 00:28:15]
That’s just an example. You don’t have to use my Papa John’s one, but you can. Bottom line is that the 2 biggest text mistakes that men make— most men make one or both of these, of these mistakes. The first mistake is just boring, logical, boring text clichés or informational boring questions. How are you? How’s your day? What did you do this weekend? The other mistake guys make is they ask before they’ve earned the right to. Not that you don’t have the right to ask her out, but you want to ease into it a little bit. At least a little bit of banter, a little bit of back and forth, even if it’s literally 2 or 3 or 4 messages. So that, that is the 9th texting commandment.
Connell Barrett [00:28:15 – 00:28:36]
And here is the 10th. The 10th texting commandment: thou shalt ask her out the right way. The right way. What do I mean by that? I’m talking syntax here. I’m talking about the actual language you use. Here’s the wrong way to ask her out. We should maybe hang out sometime. Yeah, if you want.
Connell Barrett [00:28:37 – 00:29:07]
No. That is meek and weak. Ask her out clearly and suggest something fun. And also ask when she’s free. So you want to be clear, you want to suggest something that you think or know she’ll find fun, and you also want to, in the ask-out text, find out when she’s free. Here’s how you do it. Here’s a— here’s an example, something like this. I want to take you out.
Connell Barrett [00:29:08 – 00:29:33]
Let’s do mini golf. If that sounds good, what upcoming nights are you free? Could be that simple. I love using the word I want. I want to take you out. I want to see you. I want to meet you. I want to find out if you’re as charming in real life as you seem here by text, or as you seem here on Hinge. Let’s do mini golf.
Connell Barrett [00:29:33 – 00:30:08]
If that sounds good to you, what nights are you free this week? Here’s what I don’t want you to do, or try to avoid this. This is me being pretty nitpicky, but it’ll make the difference between you getting more or less dates. Try to avoid asking her out for only one night specifically. Hey, we should meet up sometime. Let’s get a drink. Let’s have some wine. That’s good, by the way. Are you free Friday? If she’s not free Friday, she has to shoot you down for Friday, and then you’re in the position of saying, okay, well, how about Saturday? Oh, your grandma’s in town Saturday.
Connell Barrett [00:30:08 – 00:30:40]
How about Sunday? Oh, you’re babysitting your niece on Sunday. How about Monday? Oh, too bad you have that thing. Every time you ask a woman out and she has to say no because she’s busy, you lose a little bit of currency. We don’t want that to happen. So it’s such a simple fix. Just say, what upcoming nights are you free? Here’s, here’s how I asked out a million women. I mean, I did it in different ways, but I basically did it this way over and over again. I would message and banter with them a little bit.
Connell Barrett [00:30:40 – 00:31:09]
I would find something genuine, authentic about them that I liked. I would compliment her and I’d say, by the way, you’re really funny. I like your, your dorky sense of humor. I I feel like we’re both similarly dorks. I’d like to find out if you’re as charming in real life as you seem here on Hinge. Let me plan a date for us. I’m thinking karaoke if you’re up for it. What nights are good for you this week? Something like that.
Connell Barrett [00:31:10 – 00:31:40]
By the way, I’m probably not going to suggest karaoke unless I know she likes it or we’ve talked about it. But regardless, think, ask her out clearly, make it clear it’s a date. None of this weak borscht. None of this weak stew. Hey, we should maybe hang out sometime if you want. Ball’s in your court. No, don’t do the ball’s in your court philosophy. You are making the woman do the man’s job.
Connell Barrett [00:31:40 – 00:31:55]
That’s not her job. Your job is to ask. You lead, women follow. They say yes or no, and it’s all good either way. Dating is a dance. You’re just asking her to dance. Ask clearly. Hey, let’s go on a date.
Connell Barrett [00:31:56 – 00:32:17]
You’re charming, you’re cute. I want to see if you’re as cool as I think you are. Let’s do tapas this week because I know you and I both love tapas. What nights are you free? And then by saying, what nights are you free? She goes into her calendar. And says, oh, well, I’m free Tuesday or Friday. Boom. Assuming you’re free one of those nights, there you go. Set the date up.
Connell Barrett [00:32:18 – 00:32:51]
Now, if you just have a crazy busy schedule, if you literally only have one free night, fine. Suggest the one night you have that’s free, but just try to give her as much notice as you can. At least 3 or 4 days, if not 4 or 5 days. Another way you can do it if you’re a busy guy is say, okay, well, You know what, I’d love to take you out. There’s a Spanish place that I’m dying to check out. I’d love to bring you there. I could do a Tuesday or Friday, which is better for you? You could give her a binary choice. That’s almost as good.
Connell Barrett [00:32:52 – 00:33:55]
Most women would be free for one or the other. All right, those are the 10 texting commandments from a raging atheist, from a recovering Catholic. But I love my, My Charlton Heston Moses movie past, watching that every Easter with my family. Uh, anyway, thank you so much for listening. Oh, by the way, gosh, I’m so bad at remembering to plug my coaching. I’m a dating coach. I coach men in a very one-on-one personalized way. And if you would like to talk with me about how my coaching works and you have a job, because I’m not cheap, but if you have a job and you’re looking to really change your confidence, get a great girlfriend, become amazing at texting, at flirting, at approaching, and basically becoming incredible with women and doing it in a real genuine, classy, cool way, not some sketchy pickup nonsense, go to my website datingtransformation.com and book a free call with yours truly.
Connell Barrett [00:33:56 – 00:34:10]
Go out, use your 10 Commandments. Let my people go. I became the king of— who? I became the king of Egypt for some reason. Anyway, thank you for listening. Until next time.
