So, what do women really want? The answer comes down to one word: authenticity. Be who you truly are at your core, because women will like you for you.

Lean into being the nice guy, or brainy introvert, or divorced dad that you are. If you embrace authenticity in your love life, then your confidence will skyrocket, you’ll get more dates, and you’ll soon be sharing your life with a wonderful woman who loves the real you.

Most men focus on what they think they lack, rather than what they offer. (“Why can’t I be better-looking?”) This crushes your confidence. Let’s focus on specific reasons why you’re a great choice for women. This shift of focus boosts confidence.

Write out 25 reasons why you’re an awesome catch. There’s no wrong answer, as long as each item is specific. A sample from my Awesome List: “1) I like and respect women . . . 7) I’m a good kisser . . . 12) I know every Beatles song by heart . . . 17) I make great French toast . . . 22) I have a good job.”

For a woman to find you awesome, first YOU need to see that value in yourself.

The art of how to get a girlfriend includes conveying clear romantic intent. If you’re interested in a woman, make it very clear you’re interested. No need to be subtle or “mysterious.” It can be as simple as saying, “Let’s go on a date,” rather than “Let’s hang out.” On the date, don’t hide your feelings. Tell her or show her that you think she’s sexy or cool.

“Going direct” means that your words and/or vibe convey clear romantic interest from the get-go. Here are examples of direct openers.

“Hi, I saw you and had to meet you.”

“You’re absolutely adorable.”

“Wow. You’re gorgeous. I’m here to flirt with you.”

We all want to be appreciated for what’s inside. Let a woman know an inner quality you like about her. Are you impressed by her smarts, wits, sense of humor, or caring heart? Tell her. Lots of guys have told her how beautiful she is on the outside. Be that rare man who also sees the beauty within

"Troublemaker.” “Kiddo.” “Freckles.” Giving a nickname to someone means you know and like them, and it suggests familiarity. The night I met my future girlfriend Carrie, she started calling me “Ginger-Man,” and it made me even more into her.

No fish photos allowed. She doesn’t want to date Quint from “Jaws”

Your featured photo should be crisp, clear, and bright, ideally shot with natural light, which tends to be more flattering than artificial light. You’ll want to zoom in close and shoot from the waist or chest up. Look at the lens—eye contact increases the sense of connection with the audience.

And smile—a real smile, not a fake, forced smile. (Leave the smoldering glares to Zoolander.)

Dress first-date great. No sweats, no ball caps, no cargo shorts—no exceptions.

Do a photo shoot with a professional photographer. Try googling “online dating photographers” or “social media photographers” in your area. You can also use a friend who’s good with a camera.

After your photo shoot, take five to ten of your best portraits and test them on Photofeeler, to get unbiased feedback from women. You can also ask female friends to pick their favorites.

For other great photos, use shots that showcase your passions—running a marathon, playing guitar, tearing up the dance floor. Women want a man who’s living a cool, fun life.

Do NOT Post These Photos on Your Dating Profile

• You shirtless, unless you’re at the beach. And even then, you need the pecs and abs to pull it off.
• Selfies. They’re common, and depending on the angle can give you seven chins.
• Group shots. If she has to work hard to decipher which one is you, she’ll swipe left.
• You wearing sunglasses, which breaks the eye contact and connection you want.

There’s an old expression: To be interesting, be interested. Here are seven questions to ask that will make you downright fascinating and trigger stimulating conversations on dates.

• “What’s your dream travel destination?” Hey, everyone likes talking about travel.
• “Who should play you in the movie of your life?” This question caters to your date’s ego—and the actress she chooses will clue you in on how she sees herself.
• “Who did you see for your first concert?” Music is a great date topic. Prepare to be impressed when she mentions Beyoncé, or saddened when she talks about Nickelback.
• “What was the best day of your life?” This question takes your date back in time to a big life moment that she’ll love reliving, going much deeper than surface-level chat.
• “What do you love most about your job/career?” This one lets you both talk about work in a positive, emotionally evocative way, rather than boringly asking, “What do you do?”
• “What were you like as a kid?” Sharing stories from childhood offers her a chance to be vulnerable or tell funny stories.
• “What’s your hidden talent?” This allows her to show off a bit while also revealing a secret—and sharing small secrets builds trust.

Here are some fun, flirty texts to send her the day after your first date, if you like her.

“Last night was great. Do you have a Yelp page where I can leave you a review?”

“Did you have fun last night? Text 1 for yes, 2 for HELL yes.”

“Mom! Dad! I think I met THE ONE last night. I just hope she doesn’t find out that I still live in your basement.”

“I think we both agree that last night was a blast, and we should do it again.”

And this one is a cheeky, flip-the-script classic: “Hey, I just wanted to say that you had a great time last night and you’d like to see me again…”

After dating for a month or two, it’s time to make your coupledom official. Choose the right place and time to “pop the question”—say, during a relaxing day in the park, not in some loud bar.

Speak from the heart. Tell her how much you enjoy her and what she’s added to your life. Say something like, “I’m crazy about you, and the way you [specific thing you love]. I don’t want to date anyone else. I want to be your boyfriend. Would you like to be my girlfriend?”

Next, celebrate, laugh, kiss, and rip each other’s clothes off. (If you’re in a park, wait till you get home for that last part.)