Connell Barrett [00:00:00]:

I get the, Prince Harry thing every now and then.

Kezia Noble [00:00:02]:

Oh, yeah. I

Connell Barrett [00:00:03]:

go, oh, you're like Prince Harry. I'm like, yeah. I'm like a very poor Prince Harry compared to him. Alright. Welcome back to the how to get a girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, and author, Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you confidently flirt with women and attract your dream girlfriends all by being authentic. No toxic pickup tricks needed because women like you for you.

Connell Barrett [00:00:35]:

And let me ask you a question. Do women confuse you? Do women ghost you? Do you ever struggle with what to say, what to talk about? Well, today's very special guest is here to help you truly understand what women want and how to give them what they want in the dating game so that you can get a great girlfriend. Kezia Noble is the leading female dating and attraction expert for men. Her videos have received over 72,000,000 views on YouTube, and she wrote a best selling book called The Noble Art of Seducing Women. Kezia has helped over a 100000 guys just like you overcome their sticking points, their limiting beliefs to achieve some pretty fantastic success with women, which you're gonna hear about. The kind of success that guys never thought was possible. And you can learn a lot more about Kezia on her website atkezia dashnobledot com, and that's kez I a. Kezia, welcome to the how to get a girlfriend podcast.

Kezia Noble [00:01:33]:

Hello. Hi. Thank you for that lovely introduction.

Connell Barrett [00:01:37]:

You're very welcome. It's a long intro because you've done a lot. You've achieved a lot. By the way, dear listener, hang out to the very end of the episode because Kezia is gonna share a very powerful tip, a powerful insight about women that you're gonna wanna hear. So stand by. Okay. Kezia, here's the first question I wanna ask you. Before we get into some advice on helping men flirt and date, can you tell me a little bit about your journey to becoming a dating expert? Was there a moment or a time in your life when you had an moment and said, oh, I really need to help men.

Connell Barrett [00:02:11]:

I'm gonna become a coach, and a and an expert and a guide. How did that happen?

Kezia Noble [00:02:17]:

Well, it didn't happen like that. I was essentially headhunted, which sounds bizarre, but it's true. That's, you know, that's the closest way I can explain it. This is back in 2006. I was minding my own business and I was in a bar, and a guy approached me and he said, that he worked for or he was part of a company that helped men pick up women because this was 2006, so pickup was a thing. Right? And, we don't you I don't use that phrase anymore, but it was then. And I was, like, what is pickup? What's a pickup artist? And he explained it to me. He explained, look, we teach guys, like, how to pull women, essentially, how to attract women.

Kezia Noble [00:02:59]:

And I was a complete skeptic. I was, like, you can't teach it. Either there's chemistry or there's nothing. So he said, well, I've actually come over to approach you because I'd like you to come along to one of our workshops, and to give feedback to the guys that are on our program on one of our boot camps. Because we're looking for, like, attractive young women. I was an attractive young woman then. Okay? And

Connell Barrett [00:03:27]:

So was it back then?

Kezia Noble [00:03:29]:

So we have to give back we have to give our feedback to the guys. And, we were talking a little bit, and he found me very honest and direct. And he said, look, that's really what we're looking for. So I went there and thought, okay, let's just give this a go. And there were 2 things that I noticed pretty quick quickly, which was the first was, that there were indeed practical tools, advice that you could give men that could really make a change. I I saw that within the space of the time I was there. And the second thing that I noticed is that there were no women in this movement, or industry, or community, whatever you want to call it. The other women that were there were giving very, excuse me, let me turn off my emails, were giving very wishy washy advice, you know, like, just be yourself, smile more, be more confident.

Connell Barrett [00:04:19]:

Vague.

Kezia Noble [00:04:20]:

Very vague, because I think a lot of women are people pleasers, essentially. Whereas I've never been a people pleaser. I've never felt the need to please other people. I think that could be a masculine trait in me. And so I was just very honest, very direct. And I left thinking, okay, they're gonna come after me with pitchforks, these guys. But, actually, they all just were queuing up for, like, a personal one on one.

Connell Barrett [00:04:46]:

Yeah. I was

Kezia Noble [00:04:47]:

like, what's that? Like, I just came in to help today and get paid for a session. But then the owner of the company, his name's Richard Larawina, or some people know him as Gambler back from the day. He said, no. We're really looking for this, and we want you to, like, come next weekend and do the same thing. So I was coming more regularly, and then I was, like, listening to what was being taught. And I didn't realize that I could really help men, but I I realized that I loved human psychology, but not in the way that it's taught, you know, if you go to university. I like the kind of I'm not gonna lie. I like the manipulation tactics.

Kezia Noble [00:05:22]:

I like reverse psychology, just learning new ideas of how

Connell Barrett [00:05:26]:

to That's okay.

Kezia Noble [00:05:26]:

I can I swear on this or no? I won't if you don't want me to.

Connell Barrett [00:05:29]:

Hell, yeah. You can.

Kezia Noble [00:05:31]:

Like, how to mind fuck people and stuff. I found it really interesting. I found what I found really interesting is how unattractive women and men got such good looking guys and women. Like, I wanted to know that, and I'd seen it. I said, this is it's not looks. It's game. Because that's when I realized I didn't give it a name before. I'd I'd just be like, dexapil psychology.

Kezia Noble [00:05:52]:

But then I sort of put it all into game. And that's what I got really fascinated about. And I bet I was really good at it. Really good at spotting things, spotting what people were doing and breaking it down, like, what the naturals were doing and passing it on. And because I was very honest and I was very I have a very unfiltered, kind of, presentation of my life and my opinions, and, I just felt it worked perfectly. And it did, because I started getting a name for myself. It's like, this is the go this is the go to woman. And then I set up a YouTube channel on the side, which I wasn't really allowed to do, but I wasn't under contract.

Kezia Noble [00:06:25]:

So I did this YouTube channel, and it really took off. And, I realized, okay, there's there's millions of guys out there that wanna hear an honest female insight. You know, they want they don't want the bullshit. They wanna hear the woman just giving it raw. What do I do? How does it make women feel? And, I did that, and then that got a lot of attraction. And then I was approached by a publishing company here in the UK. They offered me a book deal. And then I left the company and set up my own company around 2011, when the book when I got the book deal and the media attention from that.

Kezia Noble [00:07:01]:

So that's that's, like, a very streamlined version of my story and how I got into this.

Connell Barrett [00:07:09]:

What lights you up the most about your work with Nen? When when do you feel the best in helping these guys?

Kezia Noble [00:07:18]:

I am very success driven. I do wanna see results. I'm you know, I don't get a lot from a guy going, oh, you know, that really helped me in terms of, like, theory. Like, I get it now, Kezia. I wanna see them actually get results and come back and say to me, I got laid last night. You know? Or I met a beautiful woman and we went on a date. I'm very results focused driven. So I prefer that rather than people just I do like a compliment when someone said, like, I really value that theory that you've given, and I'm gonna put it into use.

Kezia Noble [00:07:52]:

But I prefer it when they actually come back with the the results.

Connell Barrett [00:07:56]:

Absolutely. Are there any results, any any specific clients, former, current, whoever, that comes to your mind right now and makes you remember a moment where, oh, Jake didn't know how to approach a woman and the next thing you know, he's messaging you saying, I'm lying in bed with the most beautiful woman today, or whatever the story is. Do you have any fun success stories that that makes

Kezia Noble [00:08:18]:

This came yesterday Tuesday. I don't I don't wanna show his name. That's the thing. This came Tuesday, which is Tuesday. Hello. Don't know if you remember me, says his name. No. I don't remember him.

Kezia Noble [00:08:31]:

I'm not gonna lie. I don't. I worked with you some 15 years ago when I had gone through a breakup. You worked with me, and I came out the other side. I doubt you get many people thanking you, but I am. I've just gone through my 10th year happily married. Together, I am where I am because you worked magic with me. Wow.

Kezia Noble [00:08:51]:

So right. We look, we have lots of video testimonials of guys going, you know, I dated a model by the end of the 7 day mastery program. But, kinda, like, these little intimate messages that I get on my phone or on my, you know, private, you know, DMs on Instagram. I mean, a lot. Weddings, pictures of their their babies even. It's really nice. It's great.

Connell Barrett [00:09:15]:

Yeah. I remember the first baby I helped bring into the world. The only baby I've ever brought into the world in any way because I'm not a father. And my client, Michael, sent me a picture of his new baby, and I thought, oh my god. I I kinda helped do that.

Kezia Noble [00:09:30]:

I You did. You did.

Connell Barrett [00:09:31]:

I'm not I'm not blocking the cock. I'm guiding the cock. Why? Calm down, man. What? You just cock blocking the glove. Okay? He's our friend. We don't do that. We should be guiding his cock, not blocking it. Like Yeah.

Connell Barrett [00:09:44]:

Like I think the quote is from 40 year old virgin. Don't don't block the cock, guide the cock. So that makes me feel amazing. Well, let's talk about some good game. Let's talk about what it takes to get these results that you're so proud to get your clients. I was checking out your ebook last night, which is a great super fast download. 10 rapid Which

Kezia Noble [00:10:03]:

one? I've got which one?

Connell Barrett [00:10:04]:

Oh, it's the the one the first one that popped up on your website called 10 rapid ways to get a woman into it.

Kezia Noble [00:10:09]:

Oh, yeah. Okay. Fine. We wrote that a long time ago. Yeah.

Connell Barrett [00:10:12]:

Yeah. It it but it's a quick download. It it it took 10 minutes to read it. There's a couple tips in it that I really liked that I had never heard before. And I wanted to run a couple by you and ask you why why this works. And one of the tips in your in your ebook was what what you call the double sided compliment.

Kezia Noble [00:10:29]:

Yes.

Connell Barrett [00:10:30]:

Could you give an example of what the double sided compliment is and then how to how to use that on a woman you're talking to?

Kezia Noble [00:10:37]:

So it's a form of validation, positive validation. A double sided compliment it's it's a mix, actually, of of positive and negative, I should say. So, if you say to a woman, I think you'd look better if you wore those kind of shoes, That's kind of like an insult almost. So you've got to cushion the blow. So you say, look. Those shoes look really good on you. But if you were wearing and then you put in the type of shoe, or it could be dress or anything, that you find sexy, then you say to her, if you were wearing these kind of shoes, x you know, dot dot dot, I would be totally making a move on you, or I wouldn't be able to control myself. So it's also a form of sexual escalation.

Kezia Noble [00:11:28]:

You are flirting with her, but you're not saying to her, I want you quite yet. You are titillating her. You are teasing her. And women respond very, very well to that. But you need that cushion to begin with. You need to say, you look good. But you can't just go in straight for, you should be wearing this, because she can translate that as an attack, and then you get the hostile reaction. You don't want a hostile reaction.

Connell Barrett [00:11:55]:

I like that a lot. I like it because as I read that, to me, if if I'm saying to a woman, oh, I really like those shoes. Yet if you were wearing x y z, you'd look even more amazing, to me that's sending a message to her that says, I'm liking you, but I have high standards, and I could like you even more. In other words, I'm not sending this or is that part of it?

Kezia Noble [00:12:18]:

It's doing that, but it's also saying, yeah, you've got boxes that need to be ticked, and you know what you want sexually. You're just lacing it with, you know, just that it's just that tease. Okay? It's very important at the beginning. So, yeah, I love double sided compliments. I I think people should use them much more.

Connell Barrett [00:12:38]:

Yeah. I'm a fan early on in a date or especially a first date or a first approach. Something to what I call a negative spike. Something that's a tease or a little bit of a challenge just to show just to show I'm a nice guy, a kind guy, but also I have some edge. I have some self confidence. I think that's Very

Kezia Noble [00:12:58]:

important. It's it's also just, to go a little bit of a deep dive on it. It's it's kinda showing the shadow side, which is something I teach about how to use the shadow side to seduce a woman. And it's very important that if you are that kind, great guy, that you show the element of the bad guy, you know, or the very sexual guy. And it's that polarity and contrast that make women go crazy.

Connell Barrett [00:13:23]:

Polarity. That's the magic word. I like I love that. You must know your psychology. You know, you're Carl Jung? Do you have you studied some psychology, the dark side?

Kezia Noble [00:13:32]:

I know

Connell Barrett [00:13:33]:

of it.

Kezia Noble [00:13:33]:

I know of some of the theories, but I no. No. I tried to I have a lot of friends, who've been to psychologists. I have a lot of clients who went to psychologists. And most of the times, it does not help them. I just don't I'm I'm I'm interested into it to a certain degree, but I just have learned so much psychology from hanging around strip clubs, from honestly, like, ridiculous level of psychology there. From hanging around people who are marketers, salespeople, game pickup artists. These people know psychology

Connell Barrett [00:14:09]:

Right.

Kezia Noble [00:14:09]:

Who are very because they practice it. It's not just theory. They can look at the things that are there. They're, that's crap. Let's get rid of that. That's good in theory, or it's good in this situation. It's not good in that situation. So I I prefer to be with people who understand psychology, but not from a book.

Kezia Noble [00:14:27]:

They've done it. You know, they've experienced it, and they lived through it. I go, no. This is bullshit. This does not work. Okay? You know, like, some people that I'm trying to find a really, like, basic, like basic psychology would be, like, oh, you need to mirror the person. And I'm just thinking it doesn't work. It's it does not it does not help, but it doesn't work.

Kezia Noble [00:14:50]:

So waste your time on that. You know, let's work on this instead, if that makes sense.

Connell Barrett [00:14:55]:

Right. I agree. That part of why I got addicted to learning about this when I was a student of experts was, yeah, my dating results were getting better, which felt incredible, but I was fascinated by how the mind works, how to persuade people, how to essentially understand sort of seeing the matrix of psychology in terms of practical human interactions. I was fascinated by it.

Kezia Noble [00:15:15]:

Like, for instance, you know, like, I have this thing where I don't wanna talk about 2 I've got a video cut coming out about it, but it's reverse psychology. How to use anti sell. Right? How to sort of go the opposite and undersell yourself on purpose. Like, try and put the person off you. Now they would never teach that in a psychology book. But it's fucking powerful when you know how to do it. And it's got some rules to it and things. But I've been using it now for about a year.

Kezia Noble [00:15:42]:

I'm passing it on, like, sort of in private with people. And they're like, wow. This stuff is real. It works. But, again, you would not find that in a book. Like, oh, no. Always, you know, oversell yourself and show your best possible self. And it's like, no.

Kezia Noble [00:15:55]:

You've got to use a bit of this other stuff also in the mix, which doesn't make sense on paper, but does work when you do it correctly.

Connell Barrett [00:16:03]:

Yeah. Well, paper, you know, there's the map, and then there's the actual terrain of life. And what works on paper in a book is very different than what would work in life, which is why you gotta get out there and have the real life interactions. You struggle with dating. Right? Sure. You have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt. The apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating.

Connell Barrett [00:16:31]:

Hey. I struggle with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone. I owned real estate there, but I escaped using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my best selling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why Psychology Today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I wanna personally help you attract your dream girlfriend. So go to dating transformation.com and book a free call with me.

Connell Barrett [00:17:06]:

On our call, I'll tell you how my 1 on 1 coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed. So go to dating transformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend. There's one other tip I wanted to ask you to to talk a little bit about from that 10 rapid ways book, which is a free instant fuck great download on your website. You talk about the importance of breaking patterns, conversation patterns with women on 1st dates or in those first conversations. And instead of asking cliched questions like, oh, how long have you been at your job, or what do you like about what you do? To break the pattern and ask questions like, if you had a zero chance of failure, what would you love to do most in the world? Can you give can you talk about why we wanna break patterns, why men wanna break patterns with women in terms of those early conversations on a date?

Kezia Noble [00:18:03]:

Well, because women have been on so many dates, and what they do is women like to categorize men. And if the man is asking the same kind of tired, unimaginative questions that all the other guys have been asking, then she's not gonna be on her toes. She's gonna be in, you know, I call it, autopilot mode, where she's not making the effort, because she's kind of already been through that. She's gone through the motions, and she's already kind of got the outcome of how it's gonna end. Oh, he's gonna ask me this now, and his response is gonna be a, b, and c. So it becomes predictable. Women like excitement. They like excitement more than men do.

Kezia Noble [00:18:41]:

Okay? Men don't want a headache. Men want someone nice, calm, and compliant. Women want excitement much more than men. And it has to be they have to feel stimulated emotionally and mentally. That doesn't mean you have to have this very serious hyperloopin conversation about something that's very deep. No, I don't mean that. But it just means about making her forcing her to have to think. Forcing her if she has to think, it means she has to invest.

Kezia Noble [00:19:08]:

And if she's investing, it means that she's trying to impress you on some level. So it's very much pattern breaking is not just about asking an interesting question, it's about your interesting responses. So we could take a very you know, 2 things that always gonna come up in conversation is where are you from and what do you do? So we know that those two questions are gonna come up, and I'm not telling anyone that they shouldn't be asking those questions. But it's very easy for those questions to end up in a boring conversation. So let's say, like, most of my students work in IT. The first thing will be, like, what do you do? He says IT. And then she will just give a very polite, unimaginative response, which is, like, oh, you know, do you like it? And most of the time, the guy will go, yeah, it's okay, or, it's alright. You know, and that's it.

Kezia Noble [00:19:58]:

That's already the conversation. It's gone. But if he turned around and just said, you know what? I love it, and I hate it. Immediately, she's curious, because people don't answer like that. It's an unusual answer. It's not a weird, crazy, you know, fucked up answer. We don't want those. It's just a little bit unusual, and it's going to just reel her in, her curiosity.

Kezia Noble [00:20:22]:

What do you mean? Like, what do you love and hate about it? And then from there, the guy can start talking about things which have nothing to do with his job. You know, I love it because I get to do a, b, and c, and that's a reflection then of something that's positive about him. But I hate it because this is what I really wanna do. This is what I'm super passionate about. So we're already taking it from IT, which no one really wants to talk about, to this fun, interesting information, this this high value data about myself.

Connell Barrett [00:20:55]:

Kezia, I love that answer, but I also hated it. A little bit of a

Kezia Noble [00:20:59]:

Why did you hate it? You see it immediately. I wanna know. Why did you hate it?

Connell Barrett [00:21:02]:

Okay. That's a lie. I actually loved it. I loved it because it's very similar to something I coach. I do a little exercise with my guys. I call it the love hate cafe. We imagine we're sitting in a cafe or they're sitting in a cafe with a woman. And whatever topic that comes up, they have to tell that woman why they both love and hate that thing.

Connell Barrett [00:21:21]:

So that paradox is 2 contrasting emotions, love and hate. So opposite. Right? When you put them together to your point, it creates something interesting that that a woman's not expecting to hear. And it's also honest. Most people don't love everything about their job or hate everything about their job. Life is life is nuanced. And it's also emotional. Loving and hating is more interesting than informational, exchanges about what you do.

Connell Barrett [00:21:44]:

People Yeah.

Kezia Noble [00:21:45]:

It is unfiltered, and that's very important because women want to have that very authentic, unfiltered conversation with a man. And it just shows that he's he's just that's his truth, and he's unapologetic for it.

Connell Barrett [00:21:59]:

Well, you just said the the magic word for me. I'm all about authenticity and helping a man channel that real, raw self. Can you talk a little about a little bit from your point of view why if and how rawness, realness, authenticity, why does that work in dating, or how can it work?

Kezia Noble [00:22:18]:

I think it's important okay. So I do show guys how to bring their more appealing qualities forward, and some of the less appealing qualities, like, keep them in the back burner. But that's small things such as not like personal achievements and things. Like, maybe they haven't achieved a lot in their life. Maybe they're still living at home with their parents. I don't say to them that you've got to cover that. It's more that you've got because that's you. That's your reality.

Kezia Noble [00:22:47]:

That's the position you're in. It's how you communicate it. So if you do anything with shame or embarrassment, then that's going to translate as I'm an ashamed person. I'm I'm embarrassed, I'm not happy, and all these these are the things that women don't find attractive in a man. But if you said, for instance, yeah, I I don't really have a very good job, but I've I've chosen that because I don't want to be on the rat race like everybody else. I look at everybody else every day, getting on the train, stuck in a little office. No way. Not for me.

Kezia Noble [00:23:26]:

Now, she might think, again, on paper, yeah, well, that guy going in on the train every day, he's, you know, he's got drive. He's he's going somewhere, and you're just sobbing about. Sure. Sure. She might think that. However, she will not think that you're ashamed or that you, are trying to sort of, like, get in her good books, tell her what she wants to hear, so you have that pride. And that can work. That can work more than the guy who's doing all the right stuff, but he's deeply unhappy, and he's insecure, and and all the rest of the stuff.

Kezia Noble [00:24:03]:

It's better to to have both of those things. But if you aren't, I don't say to guys, oh, pretend you've got a fancy job. Just just tell like, I sit down with them and go, why are you doing this dead end job? Why? Like, what's the reason for it? And a lot of the time, they come up with a pretty good reason, which is I don't want to be a slave to work. I said, well, that's beautiful. That's interesting. That's wow. Okay. So you're a bit of, like, one of those kind of guys.

Kezia Noble [00:24:27]:

Okay. Sell it. Let's do it. You know? Yeah. Don't be ashamed of it. So I'm that's the way that I try and get them to be authentic.

Connell Barrett [00:24:36]:

I love that. Yeah. We're talking about, oh, I I don't wanna be a slave to the rat race, so I do x y z because I'm about freedom.

Kezia Noble [00:24:43]:

I'm about

Connell Barrett [00:24:44]:

being creative and attractive way to talk about why you don't have a a boring job. To me, it's all about emotional conversation that's genuine but also compelling to that woman.

Kezia Noble [00:24:58]:

Yeah. And it's very important to always tap into the woman's emotional buying motives rather than her rational buying motive. So, again, yes, as you said, speaking with emotional language works better with women. They're not for them, lust and attraction is not rational at all. It's purely emotional. So, yeah, I agree. Just tap into the emotional narrative.

Connell Barrett [00:25:23]:

Earlier, you mentioned how looks don't really matter that much or they're way overrated. Talk a little bit about how important looks are or aren't to women in terms of a guy getting a great girlfriend having a great dating life.

Kezia Noble [00:25:37]:

So looks, well, a good looking guy has to do less at the beginning, way less than, a less good looking guy. Just a caveat, though. A lot of good looking guys doesn't mean that it's gonna be every woman's type. But, certainly, I've seen some men, and the women are just, oh, he's so good looking. I'm like, I don't know what I'm looking at here. Like, have I missed something? So that does happen, just to put that little caveat in. But let's just take, like, the average very good looking guy that appeals to most women. He has to do so much less, and he will get away with so much more.

Kezia Noble [00:26:10]:

I'm sorry to say that, guys. That's the truth. However, he doesn't have the same length of time to make a mistake like a beautiful woman has. Okay? He has maybe 5, 10 let's just say 5 minutes he has to ride on his looks, ride that wave. A beautiful woman can ride in that wave for months, and just be a total bitch, and not have anything interesting to say, because men are much more governed by how a woman looks. So, yes, it's important, but I don't want men to internalize this and see it from their point of view as, oh, but a beautiful woman, you know, can get away with everything. Yeah. Not a beautiful man.

Kezia Noble [00:26:54]:

So looks are important, but what's more important is how the man makes her feel. I let a man read to me, I swear, not my type at all. I wouldn't even say he's good looking, let alone, like, not my type. And I'm thinking about him now. He's got a little bit stuck in my head. That's what happens with women. You get in their heads, you know, and it's an emotional feeling. Because male, desire and female desire just operate completely differently, completely differently.

Kezia Noble [00:27:24]:

And so and that's something I teach, obviously, to understand how female desire works.

Connell Barrett [00:27:29]:

No. I totally get it. I mean, I'm not bad looking, but I basically look like Ron Weasley's brother or the lead singer from Weezer. But I can get in a woman's head in a way that makes her feel really good, and she'll look at me like I'm Brad Pitt even though I'm not.

Kezia Noble [00:27:43]:

Yeah. I get into a man's head. I get these young guys, and they, like, ask me out. And then, you know, during the day, I realized they've all got this thing in common, which is they've all got a crush on Jennifer Aniston. Like, oh, we're here again, are we? It's like, yeah. And not when she's in Friends, how she is now. Like, oh, I'm like, oh, great.

Connell Barrett [00:28:02]:

You get the Jennifer Aniston thing.

Kezia Noble [00:28:04]:

So men are very visual. They'll go on a date with me because I kind of look like Jennifer Aniston a bit.

Connell Barrett [00:28:11]:

Right. I get the, Prince Harry thing every now and then.

Kezia Noble [00:28:14]:

Oh, yeah.

Connell Barrett [00:28:15]:

I go, oh, you're like Prince Harry. I'm like, yeah. I'm like a very poor Prince Harry compared to him, but I'll take it. I'll take any edge I can get.

Kezia Noble [00:28:24]:

If it works, it works. Right?

Connell Barrett [00:28:26]:

Absolutely. If it works, it works. Don't fast forward. This is not an ad. It's a free thing that's gonna help you flirt with confidence because I'll bet that you struggle with what to say to women and how to flirt. Right? Well, let's fix that. I'm gonna give you what I call the flirty 30. These are 30 flirty questions to ask women on the apps or on dates or when you approach so that you can confidently connect with cool sexy women starting today.

Connell Barrett [00:28:58]:

It's time to stop running out of things to say and start asking them flirty questions that are gonna make them want to date you. So to get your copy of the Flirty 30, it's totally free. Just go to datingtransformation.com/flirty30. And that's flirty30. Datingtransformation.com/flirty30. You're about to start confidently flirting with women, going on dates, and soon getting a great girlfriend. Go get your flirty 30. Couple final points here and we can wrap up.

Connell Barrett [00:29:33]:

Your YouTube channel has some really great videos. There's a couple videos that have 8, 9, 10,000,000 views. And I was looking at one of your videos a couple days ago. You do a a good video with one of your coaches named Mark Jay. Video is called the best way to approach girls. And I was watching that video because a lot of guys come to me today in 2024 in the me too era. And they say, oh, I can't approach girls. It's creepy.

Connell Barrett [00:29:56]:

It's wrong. It's weird. I can't do it. I assume you have a different viewpoint on that. Is it okay to approach women? And if so, what's the right way to do it?

Kezia Noble [00:30:05]:

It's a 100%, okay to approach a woman. We've been doing this now since 2000 since 2006, which is before the Me Too movement and hashtag Me Too movement after that. You know, we we've never the most we've ever had is a girl say, I'm not interested. No slapping in the face, no calling the police, no running down the street, screaming. Nothing like this. Just literally, sorry, not interested. And we even know things to say to make them interested if they say I'm not interested.

Connell Barrett [00:30:37]:

Right.

Kezia Noble [00:30:38]:

So, no. I think, in fact, it's gone the other way. Women are absolutely dying to meet men this way. They're sick of dating apps. My sister and her friend, they're in their early thirties. They're going to an event called I hate dating apps. They quit. I'm, like, everyone's quitting the dating apps.

Kezia Noble [00:30:57]:

They have had enough of them. They have horrible things, these dating apps. And they're all wanting that story of, hey, you know, I met this guy. He just approached me in the park. They want that story more now than ever. Because during the pandemic, it reached breaking point, the dating apps and Zoom. I mean, we're doing Zoom now. It's very useful, but everything was on Zoom.

Kezia Noble [00:31:20]:

Everything was online. And it just hit, like, peak, I can't do this anymore. And people are just looking for those organic ways to meet people now, 100 percent. This is the best time, actually. This is the best time since dating apps came out, I would say.

Connell Barrett [00:31:36]:

I agree with you a 1000000 percent that this is the best time to approach women. Because if you're the 800th guy who swipes right on her on Tinder or Hinge, she won't even see your profile. If you're that one guy who charmingly comes up to her and chats and has a some good game, oh my god. You're gonna give her that rom com movie moment.

Kezia Noble [00:31:57]:

Especially, you've got more chance if you're not good looking. If you're a good looking guy on the apps when I say good looking, I'm talking about the top 5% here. Yeah. You'll clean up. You'll clean up. But if you're below average or average even, forget it. It's much better to go to approach woman, because there's so much more she can understand about you from the approach. Lot of the lot of the guys that I've dated, my first impression of them wasn't great.

Kezia Noble [00:32:23]:

And then after a few minutes, I was like, oh, okay. Things have changed now. And also, if I'd seen a photograph of them online, I would never have agreed to go on a date with them. Really not my type. But it was just, like, the way that they operated the room, the way they spoke to me made me feel, the way they ordered the drinks, the aftershave they were wearing. You know, human beings are multidimensional. So is attraction, and it's all being reduced to a photograph. And a photograph that's not even accurate likeness of us anymore.

Kezia Noble [00:32:54]:

None of us look like our photos. Do you remember, like, in the old days when we had bad photos, and we we had to say to the other person, look, they look better than their photo. We're setting up people with dates because we all took bad photographs. Now, you have to sit there and go, look, okay, she or he doesn't quite look like that photograph. So it's already, like, you're starting from a down point, you know, like a minus. Because you meet the person, it's like, oh, you're 10 times bigger than you said you are, 10 times older, whatever it is. You know?

Connell Barrett [00:33:23]:

Okay. Let's part. Speaking of finishing strong, let's finish strong with a parting tip. Earlier, I teased a a powerful insight. It could be about approaching. It could be about mindset. It could be anything that you think the the introverted nice guy listening to this episode should know about women or approaching or dating. What is your parting tip for our listener?

Kezia Noble [00:33:43]:

I'm I'm stuck between 2, but I'm gonna go for 1 because I did mention about, like, if a woman says I'm not interested, what to say there?

Connell Barrett [00:33:50]:

What do you say when she says that?

Kezia Noble [00:33:52]:

So let's and we've been doing this for ages, and it's had really good response rate. So let's say you see 2 women, and they're chatting in a bar, and you approach them, and they're like and she goes, no. No. Thank you. I'm we're talking. Rather than just walking off, like, feeling sorry for yourself, or apologizing or being aggressive, just say, no problem. I just wanted to come over and say, I think you're absolutely stunning. Have a beautiful night.

Kezia Noble [00:34:19]:

And then walk away.

Connell Barrett [00:34:20]:

Yeah.

Kezia Noble [00:34:20]:

Because you've taken that moment to flip it and show her what she's missing. So you have to say this with regal confidence. Regal confidence. She's not expecting you to respond like that, first of all, so that makes it go And secondly, you're showing how confident you are. And she's watching this thinking, oh, shit. Oh, shit. This this one's going now. And then she sees you operating the rest of the room, talking to people.

Kezia Noble [00:34:47]:

You don't go back to him. Don't ever go back to her. She has a very high chance of coming back to you. She'll either smile, look at you, or she might even, as you're leaving, say, oh, I'm sorry. I was a bit rude. Come join us. So that's a good little trick, guys.

Connell Barrett [00:35:01]:

That's fantastic. I did that once, not knowing I probably got it from you 15 years ago. But I did that once, 5 minutes after I said, okay. Fine. Have a good night. You're beautiful. Tap tap tap on my shoulder, and she came back. And all of a sudden, it was on.

Connell Barrett [00:35:16]:

So thank you. Okay. Okay. If a man listening to this would like to work with you or learn more about you or take a program, I understand you do training in London. I understand you a man can work with you or your team from home. How can people work with you or learn more about you?

Kezia Noble [00:35:36]:

Yeah. Just, go to the website, kezia dashnoble.com. You'll find out more information about my 7 day mastery program and my online acceleration home training program. And everything is 1 on 1. We don't do boot camps or anything. So it's gonna be you, me, or you and the coach. Just 1 on 1. And, yeah.

Kezia Noble [00:35:56]:

Check out all the testimonials we've received over the years. And you'll find, like, at least one of them will resonate with you personally, because we've just helped 100 of men from across the globe, a range of different sticking points, and from different cultural backgrounds and and age groups. So, yeah, that's my that's my website. Check it out.

Connell Barrett [00:36:15]:

Do you still offer training in in London, which would happen in London?

Kezia Noble [00:36:19]:

Yes. I do.

Connell Barrett [00:36:20]:

Great. I recommend that because I once took a training course in London, not with you, but but I took a training course there. It was such a great experience being in London, British accents. Oh my gosh, I fell in love so many times. So working on this in London is a great option if you are able to travel. Okay. Thank you, Kezia, so much for being here. You were fantastic.

Kezia Noble [00:36:43]:

Thank you. Bye.

Connell Barrett [00:36:45]:

Yeah. By the way, if you like this episode, please leave me a review or share it with a guy who needs a boost of dating help. And if you didn't love this episode, leave me some feedback or tell me why you loved and hated it, just like Kezia told us to talk about loving and hating. Anyway, thank you for listening. And remember, your dream girlfriend, she's out there. She's gonna love you. She just has to meet the real authentic you. So go take authentic action.

Connell Barrett [00:37:09]:

Carpe datum. Seize the date. See you next time.