Intro:

You're out there taking action. You're playing tennis. You're throwing the ax, hopefully, on a date, not in anger.

Connell Barrett:

Welcome to the dating transformation podcast. Here's your host, Dating coach, Connell Barrett.

Welcome back to the Dating Transformation podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Connell Barrett. I'm here to help you learn to flirt, gain confidence, and attract an amazing partner all by being authentic. No toxic pickup tricks needed. And today, I wanna talk to you about fixing a big problem that I'll bet you have, which is a lack of matches, at least good matches, on the dating apps, chances are you go on to Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and you start swiping or you actually before you even swipe, you check your inbox and you see very few good matches who are liking you. And that can bum you out. It can make you feel less attractive. It can make you feel like the apps just don't work.

And today, I wanna help you fix that. I wanna give you I wanna help you turn your phone. I want you to turn your phone into a date generating machine. We wanna turn this into a device that gives you 2 to 3 great dates a week and tons and tons of matches. How do you do that? We do that by curating 6 photos that are gonna help you get matches and dates. I call these photos the game changers. These are the 6 game changing photos. If you're struggling with matches and dates online, it's because your photos are mediocre.

They're showing you with your sunglasses on. You're holding a beer, and 5 of your frat brothers are just looking at the camera. That doesn't give women anything that they want. We need to replace those mediocre photos with what I call game changing photos, great portraits, cool slices of life photos. So if you want to transform your online dating results, you need to use what I call the 6 game changing photos. Here they are. So here's game changing photo number 1 for any dating profile. The 1st photo on your dating profile should be a portrait, a really good portrait of you doing the 3 s's

What are the 3 s's? Number 1 is smile. Number 2 is style. Number 3 is setting. You want a really good, authentic, real smile, not a Zoolander, smile. You want great style. You wanna dress, first date, great. And that 3rd s is setting. You want a real natural setting behind you, not some LinkedIn, 7th grade class photo type backdrop.

Follow the 3 s's and get a really good portrait that gets you matches and dates. Another thing you wanna do with that first photo for that first portrait is make sure that you are making eye contact with the camera, that you're looking at the camera because that's gonna help you create a connection with the woman who's on the other end of the phone considering whether or not she's gonna date you. And the idea with this photo is we want you to look great, smile, and look right at her and basically with your eyes say, check me out. Look at what a great, well dressed, Authentically confident man I am. So that's portrait number 1. Your 2nd I should say photo number 1. Your 2nd game changing photo to get more matches on the apps, is another portrait, but you want the 2nd portrait to be different than the first. You want a little bit of variety.

So for example, on my online dating profile, my 1st portrait is a jacket, tie, blazer, about as dressed up as I'm gonna get. My 2nd photo is a leather jacket, a Henley shirt, and I'm in an urban setting. It's a little bit edgier. It gives women a slightly more edgy version of me. Women like that variety. They don't want every photo to look the same. And so make sure that your first 2 portraits are, we both want them to hit the three s's style, smile, and set a natural setting. However, we want them to look very different.

So that 1st portrait of you, maybe it's a jacket and tie. 2nd photo, t-shirt and jeans or leather jacket or a suede jacket or basically maybe a collared shirt. Every guy's got his own style, so whatever you think looks good, but you just wanna give women a different look at you. When I met my now girlfriend, Jess, when we had our 1st date, She said she really liked my 2nd photo because it showed a little bit of edge. At first, she thought, oh, is this guy too nice, too safe? Then she saw my leather jacket. She saw that I had a little bit of, edge, and then she said, alright. I'm intrigued. I wanna see what this guy is like.

So if I hadn't had that 2nd portrait, I probably would not have gotten the match with her that I wanted, and I might not have the relationship that I have today. Okay. The 3rd photo you want, the 3rd game changing photo for your dating profile to get you matches and dates, it's what I call the ah photo. As in, aw, he's a real guy. The ah photo is designed to tug at her heartstrings because portrait number 1, portrait number 2, stylish, handsome, well dressed, Boom. Good impression. Photo number 3 on your profile is for her to say, oh my god. He's got a real heart.

I wanna meet a real guy, somebody relatable. So for that 3rd photo, think of you with your dog, you dancing with grandma at the wedding, you and, at the zoo with the elephant trunk. You know, you're holding the elephant trunk. Tug at those heartstrings because, hey, we wanna put a real heart into our profile, not just have attractive pictures.

I'm gonna read your mind. Ready? I'll bet that you would love to confidently approach women. Get great matches on dating apps, flirt with charm, And attract your dream girlfriend. Right? But fear keeps you from approaching. You're not sure how to flirt. You struggle on the apps. Undesirable women just don't seem into you. Well, I have great news.

Dating coach Connell Barrett can help. He's guided thousands of men like you to more confidence and help them attract their dream girlfriends. So book a free Strategy call today to see if Connell's coaching is right for you. On your call, Connell or a team member will give you personalized advice to help you have more confidence, more dates, and more fun. Oh, and you'll be dating women as your best self, A charming gentleman. That's because Connell does not teach creepy pickup artist tricks. He unlocks your most confident self So you can make authentic romantic connections. Your next steps? Book your free call today at https://datingtransformation.com/contact and grab a time that works for you.

Then you'll be on your way to more confidence, better results, and attracting bright, beautiful women. Oh, So you know, soon Connell will stop taking on new clients. So book a call today while you still can. Go to https://datingtransformation.com/contact and transform your love life. Bye and also think about the experience we're giving women here as they're swiping through your profile. Photo number 1, well dressed, stylish. I like it. Maybe, she's thinking. Photo number 2, Alright. Different look. Glasses and a collared shirt in the first one. Oh, a leather jacket on a motorcycle? This guy's got layers.

This guy is complex. I'm intrigued. Photo number 3, Maybe it's you and your cat is on your shoulder, and it's scratching your head, and you're making a funny face because you're in pain because cats are assholes. This might be an amazing online dating photo. And then photo number 3 makes her say, oh my god. He loves cats. He's got a heart. She's seeing the real guy.  So those first 2 photos, it's totally fine that these be taken with intention, photo shoot. It's okay if they look a little bit editorial. That 3rd photo, the off photo, should be a slice of life. It should be the kind of photo that looks like it just happened. So my 3rd photo on my profile is my hairstylist dog. I love dogs, but I don't yet have a dog. But I love dogs. Women don't care so I don't have a dog. So what I have for my 3rd photo on my profile is, my dog, my stylist dog, Bishi. And Bishi is licking my face, and it's an adorable photo of me being licked by this dog. Both and, you know how when a dog licks your face, you kinda like it but it's also, ew, dog slobber. It's sort of adorable. It's very human. It's very heart centered. So I get tons and tons of matches from the dog photo. Okay, So that's photo number 3. Now the 4th photo on your dating profile, if you wanna get more matches and dates, Here's what I recommend you put in a photograph of you doing something athletic or masculine. It's important that women see that you're a man of the world. You're out there taking action. You're playing tennis. You're throwing the ax, hopefully, on a date, not in anger. You're at the ax throwing place. You're maybe at a cool cocktail lounge drinking a scotch, looking like a guy.

We want that 4th photo to show some activity or masculinity so that women get that sense of that, hey. You're a good solid guy, but you're also a man. So that's photo number 4 on your profile. And photo number 5 is we got a couple options. My first and favorite option For photo number 5 is to go with let's call it a social photo, a photo of you out in the world with other people in an attractive setting. Part of the secret of getting matches with your photographs is to give a woman a little glimpse into what it would be like if she was out with you on a date. So that 5th 5th photo can be you at the karaoke bar singing a duet with your best friend. Maybe you're at a cocktail lounge and you and your friends are clinking martini glasses.

It could be that one of my clients has a great photo, Dan. It's a great photo of him tearing up the dance floor, cutting a rug at a wedding. What does that do? It makes the woman on the other end of the phone say, oh, I wish I was that girl dancing with him. I wish I was having fun with this guy at the wedding or singing that song. Because remember, every photo that goes on your dating profile, it might be about you, but it's for her. Every photo is for her. It's about giving her something. It's not photos that you think make you look quote unquote cool, although I hope you look great. It's about photos that show value for her. Bottom line is, she doesn't care about the sunglasses you're wearing. She doesn't wanna see 5, 6 other guys in the photo and struggle to pick you out. She doesn't want to see a selfie you took in your basement that makes you look like Dexter in his kill room. She wants to see photos that make her think this guy has something to bring to my life. This guy is a great catch. This guy is someone I'd love to meet and talk to. This guy has something to bring into my life.

So every photo, even though it features you, it's not about you. I should say it is about you, but it's for her. Make sense? I hope that makes sense. So the idea of photo number 5 is you're giving her a little window into what it would be like to be out in the town with you. Right? Women wanna enter a guy's life, a man who has a life of cool, fun things happening because, hey, if she sees you at that restaurant, she can imagine herself sitting next to you. Or if she sees you on that dance floor, she can imagine herself spinning in your arms. So remember, every photo might feature you, but it's about what's in it for her. Okay.

And your 6th and final game changing photo for your dating app profile to get you tons of matches, For the 6th one, I call this the wild card. I call this the cherry topper. For the 6th one you have a couple options. I like a photo that's very surprising in a positive way. Something very silly or unusual is happening because think about it. She's been swiping. She sees your first 5 photos. Alright, Handsome, well dressed dude. Fun, cool lifestyle. Oh my god. He's dancing with his grandma. That's so cute. Oh, wow. He goes to cool clubs. I like to be there with him.

She's very close to swiping right on you, but maybe she's still on the fence because, hey, if she's an attractive woman, she's got hundreds, maybe thousands of likes on her profile, literally, thousands. So she needs that final photo to help her say hell yeah, swipe right, and that's what the 6th photo does. I call the 6th photo cherry topper. Another term I heard that I like is goosh. Basically, the goosh means, kinda like the free bonus. It's the free dessert at the restaurant after you've had an amazing meal and they bring you 2 complimentary tiramisu. You're like, oh my god. This is the greatest restaurant. I'm coming back here, assuming I can fit out the door.

Rejection, ghosting, loneliness, lack of dates, and lack of confidence. For many men, dating just sucks, But it doesn't have to. There's a simple yet powerful way to gain instant confidence and attract a great girlfriend. Be radically authentic. It's all laid out in the number 1 Amazon best selling book. Dating sucks, but You don't. You're a step by step guide to attracting wonderful women and doing it with total authenticity. Author and dating coach Connell Barrett has had and fixed all the dating problems that you struggle with.

He's also helped thousands of men Gain confidence and find love. He's put his best tips and strategies into dating sucks, but you don't so that you can Confidently approach women and get dates. Become magnetic and attractive even if you're not tall or great looking. Always know what to say to make sparks fly. Get lots of great matches and dates on the dating apps and attract your dream woman. You can find Dating Sucks, but you don't on Amazon or wherever books are sold In paperback, Kindle, and audiobook. Get Dating Sucks, but You Don't Today. To transform your confidence and find your dream girl.

And, anyway, so think of your 6th photo as the goosh or the cherry topper or the free dessert. What do we want for the 6th photo? Couple different options. Go through your phone and look for really silly, almost weird photos where you're having a massive amount of Fun. What photo in your phone shows you laughing the hardest or being the silliest? For example, my goosh, I've never said that before in my life. My Goosh, my 6th photo for a long time, it was a picture of me in New York City. I was there there was a a a work of, what do you call it? Graffiti. There was wall graffiti, and it was a a, what was it? An alligator with boxing gloves. So this alligator it was a boxing glove alligator, And I happen to have taken boxing classes, so I put my boxing gloves on one day and I took a photo next to me It looked like I was boxing the alligator. And it was just a really silly, dumb photo that a lot of women made them smile. It was the perfect goosh, the perfect, wild card final photo. Another example, think thinks think, pattern interrupting visuals pattern interrupting visuals, something she's not used to seeing. So if you have an amazing travel nature photo where you're standing in the middle of a vineyard in Tuscany. Awesome. It can be it can be an incredible travel photo that transports her to a beautiful place. Just make sure you're in the photo in part.Don't just show Tuscany, but show you picking that grape off of the Tuscan vine. Another goosh photo was, my former client, Alan, had this really cool photo. He was wearing a leather jacket And he had a nickname that was, like, the Almeister, I think. And he had this leather jacket that said the Almeister on the back. So the photo was of his back. We did not see his face. It was a photo of him holding up his his thumbs and like pointing to the back of his leather jacket. So the the photo was the back of his head in the back of his leather jacket with his thumbs pointing at his nickname, The almeister. Very I would never say put that as your 1st photo. It's a little weird. It's a weird introduction, but it's really good for the gouche. It's good for that last photo. So anything that makes her smile that's silly, that's unusual. Oh, one more example. I once toured a prison, an actual prison, and My girlfriend at the time took a really funny photo of me in jail with my hands up on the bars. It just was and it was kind of funny, I was making a sad face and it just worked really well.

You instantly got what was happening here. And that was a good 6th photo. And then if you have if you don't have any really, if you don't have any other really silly, crazy, gouache type ideas, another option for photo number 6 is just take go through your best portraits, all the best portraits you had taken and find another portrait that you really like and just make sure it doesn't look exactly like either of the first 2 photo slots. That can work just as well. It's almost like a final reminder of how sharp you dress, what a great smile you have, What a great catch you are. So let me do a quick recap. Here are the 6 game changing photos to get tons and tons more matches on any dating app. Game changer number 1, a great portrait.

Game changer number 2, a second great portrait that just looks different then your 1st portrait. Different clothes, different backdrop, but we want authentic, real, awesome, genuine smiles for both of those. Photo number 3 is an awe photo, something that tugs at the heartstrings. Photo number 4 is an activity or action or masculine photo. We wanna deliver some of that masculine. I'm a man, man. Look at me. Number 5 is, a social shot of you out in the world enjoying people being social. That's very attractive. And photo number 6 is the gouche. Wild card. Cherry on top. It's a free dessert. What's a silly, wacky, fun photo that could make her smile and seal the deal for you? And if you can't Find something like that. Use another really good portrait. Those are the 6 photos that I have tested so many times with so many men, and, this is your path to matches and dates on the apps.

Because, let's let's get real. Online dating success, 75, maybe 80% of it, It's all about the photos you have. It's very much a visual platform. And I'll end with 1 more important point. If you're struggling on the apps and you're not getting the kind of matches, don't tell yourself the b s story that, oh, I'm not good looking enough. Only handsome men can do well on the apps. That is nonsense. If you dress well, if you work on your smile, and if you bring some good emotions to that photo, You can get really good matches with some really wonderful, bright, beautiful women even if you're not great looking.

I am not some great looking guy. I look like Ron Weasley had relations with the lead singer from Weezer. But I've done pretty amazing. I'm a dating coach. I've gotten hundreds, maybe, I guess, thousands of matches. And I've got this incredible girlfriend in my life from dating apps. So if I can do it, you can too. Alright. Thanks for listening, and, remember, your beautiful future incredible girlfriend, She's already out there, and she's gonna love you. She just has to meet the real authentic you. Till next and other goodies, go to dating transformation.com. See you next time.

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