Connell, I see women I want to meet all the time, but I don’t know what to say. And I hate the idea of using canned pickup lines. Can you help?
IN HIS HEAD IN HARLEM
Well, Harlem… when you want to approach a woman out in the real world, the first words you say are important. But you sound a lot like me. I hate pickup lines, too.
There’s something about cheesy, tactical pickup lines that make my skin crawl. But…
There ARE ways to break the ice with women with charm, humor, confidence, and zero creepiness—at bars, the gym, coffee shops, and on the apps as well.
My clients and I have successfully tested every one of these “pickup lines” (or flirty openers, as I call them.)
Not sure what to say? Say one of these! Women love them.
Here are 31 pickup lines for gentlemen like you who hate pickup lines.
SAY THIS ANYWHERE
1: “Hey, I hate creepy pickup moves, so here’s my pickup line: Hi, I’m [name]. What’s yours?”
SAY THIS AT A GROCERY STORE
2: Holding a single box of Mac and cheese, you say: “Quick question. I’m throwing a dinner party tonight for 25 people. Will this be enough?”
SAY THIS AT A BAR
3: “I have a serious question for you. Should I start an OnlyFans page? Why or why not?”
4: “I would love to take you out to dinner. I know the maître d’ at the finest Burger King in town.”
5: You approach wordlessly, saying nothing for 20 seconds. Just own the silence with confident eye contact and a little smile. Then say: “Can you feel the romantic tension?”
6: “What do you do for fun… besides getting charming men to come and flirt with you?”
7: “I need a woman’s opinion. Should I become a male model? Yes or hell yes.”
8: “Hey, I came out tonight to meet interesting people. What’s something you’re weirdly talented at?”
9: “Hi. I just saw you, and you have a very sexy vibe.”
10: The “Top Gun” opener. Just like Tom Cruise does in the movie, walk up and serenade her with the first 2 lines of “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling.”
Point at her, sexily. And own it when you croon, “You never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips…”
Watch in awe as she blushes, laughs, and sings along with you.
11: I call this the dance break opener.
“Hi, I just invented this new dance move.”
Then immediately do the robot.
SAY THIS AT THE GYM
12: “My heart is pounding right now, so let’s call this my cardio workout for the day.”
13: “What’s on your gym playlist today?”
SAY THIS AT A COFFEE SHOP
14: “I’m trying to decide on hot coffee or iced coffee. What do you think I should get? My caffeine fate is in your hands.”
SAY THIS AT A BOOKSTORE
15: “It’s nice to see that attractive women still read actual books.”
16: “Excuse me. Are you actually gonna read that… or are you just trying to look intellectual?”
17: A client favorite: grab a “Dad Jokes” book, walk up to her (with the title visible), and read her a joke as your opener.
“Hi, I have a question for you. [Read from the book.] What do cats eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.”
SAY THIS AT A CLOTHING STORE
18: “I need your fashion wisdom. Does this [shirt/jacket] look good on me? What’s your opinion?”
SAY THIS ON DATING APPS
19: “Pop quiz! I’m messaging you because:
A) You’re adorable B) We both like [commonality] C) All of the above
Circle one. Pencils down!”
21: This is great for Feeld, Tinder, or anyone looking for casual dating.
“Hey, [Name]… should our safe word be ‘brunch’ or ‘Timothy Chalamet’?”
22: My “Back to the Future” opener. Three clients of mine met their girlfriends using this opener:
“Hey, [Name]! I’m writing you from the future: 2031. We’re married and madly in love… but we just had a BIG fight. Can I ask present-day you something? Our love depends on it! ⚡”
23: She’ll say something like:
“Of course, honey! What’s your question?!”
You reply with, “I said that our first date was at a wine bar, but you said it was sushi. So which one was our first date, love of my life?” And then…
24: She’ll answer—and whichever she chooses, ask her out for that date.
“You’re right! It was sushi. That’s why I married you—for your incredible memory. So, when are you free for sushi? We can’t ruin the space-time continuum. 😉”
SAY THIS AT A WEDDING
25: “Are you with the bride, the groom… or are you a wedding crasher?”
26: “I’m curious: Are you here for the true love or for the chicken cordon bleu?”
SAY THIS WHEN SHE’S WALKING HER DOG
27: “Who likes snacks more—you or your puppy?”
SAY THIS WHEN YOU SEE HER ON THE STREET
28: Walk beside her and say:
“I’ve never walked this fast to talk to a pretty girl, but I needed the steps.”
SAY THIS WHEN SHE’S GOT SHOPPING BAGS
29:“You’re definitely the prettiest bag lady I’ve ever seen.”
SAY THIS ANYWHERE WHEN YOU FEEL SHY
30: “Excuse me—I’m actually kinda shy, but I saw you and I’d regret it if I didn’t say hi.”
SAY THIS AT A FUNERAL
31: Wait until the grieving widow is in tears—that’s when women are at their most vulnerable. Just walk up, kneel beside her at the casket and say…
Kidding! Do NOT approach women at funerals. Leave the creepy stuff to pickup artists, and to Will Ferrell in “Wedding Crashers.”
